I’m currently reading Richard Carlson’s book titled, ” You Can Be Happy No Matter What.” The principles are sound. Richard Carlson mentioned the nature of thoughts and moods. And he explained that being in the present moment would make one more happy.

Carlson mentioned that thoughts from the past are just that– thoughts. And we unnecessarily make ourselves unhappy by clinging to our thoughts. Thoughts are just transitory, the same way moods are transitory. Clinging to something impermanent would make one unhappy and dissatisfied with life.

Richard Carlson said that one’s natural psychological state is that of happiness and contentment. But since we allow ourselves to be carried away by our thoughts and our moods, we lose our natural state of happiness.

His observations are reminiscent of Buddhist teachings. It’s just so amazing how advanced Gotama Buddha’s thinking was. He was able to get into the nature of consciousness and of thoughts. So many have followed his path and have attained enlightenment.

It doesn’t necessarily mean that one should become a Buddhist in order to be happy. Richard Carlson was able to come up with ways in order to cope with the daily stresses of life. There are other paths. Buddhism is just one of the many spiritual paths one should take in order to gain that inner sense of calm and equilibrium. But what I like about the Buddhist path is how it goes straight to the core– that of the nature of suffering and unhappiness.

I really am grateful that I became a Buddhist. It has made me understand myself more. In time, my consciousness and awareness would grow. And someday soon, I would be a lot less self-centered and more altruistic. I would really like that. Once you understand yourself, you can understand others better.

I’m just going through what some would call ‘growing pains.’ It hasn’t been easy shedding my self-limiting beliefs and letting go of the person that I used to be. But in just a year, I was able to turn my life around. I never would have thought that I’d be a more positive and grounded person. I used to be a self-defeatist and a pessimist. I was always reactive and not proactive. I see so many changes in myself. The changes have been profound. You can see it on the way I move and think. And even on my face. I’m just a much lighter person.

When I used to be a Catholic, I remember hearing this sermon. The priest was talking about the idea of going to heaven and dying. He said, ” Most of you think that you can take your personal belongings with you when you die. You can’t take anything with you, not even a backpack. Before you enter heaven, you have to leave everything behind. You must unload yourself from your burdens. When a person dies, he leaves with nothing.”

Buddhists and Catholics both believe in the concept of heaven. The only difference is that Catholics believe that heaven is a place where one goes after one dies. But Buddhists believe that heaven is a state of mind that can be achieved during this lifetime. I would rather go with the Buddhists’ perspective. Because I want to be able to unload my burdens and carry less emotional baggage while I can still appreciate it. And who cares about the afterlife?

I feel less lighter already. And I feel less afraid of the future. I feel less attached to my past. What I need to work on is living in the present moment. For what do we really have that no one can really take away? We only have the present moment. We only have the NOW.

I’ve let thirty years of my life slip by because I allowed myself to be unhappy. I tortured myself with negative thoughts. I allowed my self-esteem to sink because I felt unworthy. All those wasted years. All those wasted hours.

Before I die, I want to be able to say to myself that I was victorious and that I lived a full and happy existence. I want to be able to congratulate myself for being an expert in life. For knowing how to navigate life’s ups and downs; turns and twists.

It’s really so insane how we spend so much of our time suffering when we could spend it being happy. I choose to be happy. And what I like about living in the present moment is that even if you make mistakes, you continue to move forward. And you allow yourself to go with the flow of life.

My hair is dry and coarse. My skin is the color of mocha. The soles of my feet are cracked and aching. The unused muscles in my body are peculiarly sore and cramped. I am tired and beat. Certain parts of my brain are still not functioning at an optimal level. My tummy hurts. And I’m probably dehydrated. But it’s all worth it. I am just experiencing what I’d like to call post-vacation anxiety syndrome.

I never expected that I’d go on a semi-unplanned vacation and do something crazy. For months now, all I’ve been thinking of is work and work. For almost two months, I didn’t go to the mall or to anywhere. I usually would go on short excursions to the province. But ever since my promotion, I’ve never had the chance to do something spontaneous.

All I ever got to do was to shuttle back and forth to my home and work. I didn’t want to end up shorting my circuit. I could sense that I was getting depressed and bored. To prevent a bout of severe depression, I took the necessary steps and went on a semi-unplanned trip.

It was all because of my Buddhist friend, F. Last month she made it known to me that she had plans of going on a trip to this island known for surfing. I was kind of hesitant to go with her since it wasn’t easy to file for a vacation leave. I don’t know exactly what got into me. But last Thursday, she invited me over for dinner. She said she was going to buy tickets already. She asked me if I was going to go with her. I guess I felt that I needed a vacation. What I did was I handed her money so she could buy two tickets–one for me and one for my cousin.

I hadn’t filed for a leave so what I did was called in sick for three days. I felt guilty doing that. But once I was on the island, I forgot my anxieties. I forgot all about work. It was hard to adjust to the people and the weather. But slowly all my worries melted away.

The highlight of my trip was going night swimming. The moon was round and full. I broke away from the group and found a small boat anchored near the shore. I took off my shirt and placed it on top of the boat. I also placed my plastic sandals on top of the boat. For a few minutes, I just swam by myself under the moonlight. It was exhilarating. What I really wanted to do was go skinny dipping but since I wasn’t alone, I didn’t do that.

There was a constant rumbling noise in the background. I learned later that it was the waves. The island was facing the Pacific Ocean. Large waves would crash into the corals. It was the corals that served as a wave breaker. Without it, the whole island would be swept away by the huge waves.

The other thing I enjoyed was surfing. I wasn’t afraid of getting hurt. I was determined to be able to stand up on the board. All I managed to do was to kneel. I would be able to stand for a few seconds before falling to the water. It was so fun. I did get sea sick while surfing but I didn’t let it affect me. I was enjoying it too much.

We also went to this mangrove forest. Nestled in between the forest was a wooden tower with an Oriental design. My cousin and I went on top of this wooden structure. The view was spectacular. We could see the mangroves, the visitors and the water. There was something peaceful about the place. We had wanted to stay for a few more minutes but the caretaker became anxious. It was private property and we had only asked permission to view the place. I wanted to swim in the water but one of our companions warned me. against crocodiles.

Another highlight was riding a small boat and visiting the neighboring islands. We went to this small coral island called the Naked Island. It had no trees only sand. The surrounding water was the color of aquamarine. The water was inviting. We took a dip and swam. Our next trip was to this bigger island with a population of less than 500. We visited this nice private beach house made of glass. We weren’t allowed to go inside. All we did was to take pictures of the nice house. For a few minutes all we did was lie on the sand. We talked about Hollywood celebrities and their charitable causes. It was really fun.

Now, I’m back to my hometown. I’ve been gone for five days. I’m going to be working a few hours from now. I’ll probably go to the mall to get a facial, a massage and hair treatment. I don’t look decent at all. I look like a cave dweller. But I don’t mind looking uncivilized as long as I got to spend five days away from work and my family.

I had a discussion with my friend Paolo. He finally addressed my concerns. I had stopped chanting for a few days. I just wanted to know the difference between not chanting and chanting. I wanted to know if I truly needed Buddhism in my life. And the answer just came.

Paolo said something that really made sense to me. He said, ” Why concentrate on the whys. It would only lead you to become more depressed. People who don’t ask that question just go on with their lives. If you stop to ask that question you will ultimately realize the emptiness of your life because you are not living it according to how you want to live it. If you just live your life and do whatever needs to be done, then that’s it.”

He added, ” You know that chanting works and that’s it. No need to ask why. It just works for you.”

During our conversation I realized that you can never run out of why questions to ask. The possibilities are infinite. Rather than concentrate on that, you should just concentrate on doing.

For years, I was always in a quandary because I dared to ask the question why. But asking the whys got me stuck in the asking. As a consequence, I never had time to live my life. The whys would have been answered if I just moved along with my life. But I got stuck in the whys. I never got to answer the why questions because for that to be answered, I have to act and live my life.

By sheer serendipity, I happened to click on my blog link that allowed me to read the posts that I wrote last year. It’s just so surprising. I can’t even say that I’m the same person anymore. I have changed drastically.

Finally I know why I should continue on becoming a Buddhist. Because the Buddhist way means change. And change means being in tune with the universe.

I have answered this particular why question. I know more why questions will be answered. And the only way that those questions could be answered is by daring to go with the flow of life.

I spent two hours hanging out with my new Buddhist friends. And it just can’t be helped that we would talk about Buddhism. A, one of my Buddhist friends, mentioned Mr. K’s passing.

” A member asked why Mr. K had to die. She asked why Mr. K’s faith was not enough to save his life,” A said.

” And how was that question answered?” I asked.

” One member answered that it was Mr. K’s time to die. He was destined to die at that time. It was his karma. It was not his faith that failed him. He was just meant to die at that time.”

I wanted to share to her my own realization about death and dying. I just didn’t get to have that opportunity. She was a seat away from me. And the setting wasn’t really conducive to a serious discussion.

I wanted to tell her this: That Mr. K’s passing had nothing to do with his faith. Everyone dies. What is important is that we live our lives to the fullest. So that when our time comes, we won’t have any regrets.

It is true. We all die. What is important is how we live our lives. Do we spend our life spreading suffering or happiness? Do we spend our life spreading lies or the truth? Do we spend our life being selfish or being selfless?

It’s not about how we die. It’s about how we live. At the end of my life, I would want people to be happy at my passing because they know I spent it spreading happiness and hope. It is our death that defines how we lived our life.

I was touched when my Buddhist friend told me that she is praying for my happiness. I never expected that someone would pray for me. I pray for other people’s happiness. And I pray for my own happiness. I just never expected that someone would pray for me. It was really touching.

There are times when I question whether I did the right thing by converting to Buddhism. My upbringing was purely Catholic. I was baptized a Catholic. I studied at a Catholic school. My grandmother was a devout Catholic.

I was forced to be a Catholic. It was never by choice. I was forced to read the bible even if  it never made sense. And I was forced to go to church on First Fridays and Sundays. Looking back, I could not really connect with Catholicism. And try as I might, I never understood happiness by being a Catholic. I understood suffering. In fact, according to Catholics I’m a sinner since I had sex when I was four years old. For years, I grew up ashamed of who I was. But there comes a time when you grow tired of suffering and you’re ready for happiness.

I’m wary of calling Buddhism a religion because it is not just a religion. It is a philosophy. And it’s the only religion or philosophy that I know that tackles how to deal with suffering and with life. Understanding the concepts would not only make you understand the meaning of life but would help you understand yourself better. It’s a really wonderful thing. And it’s something that is based on common sense.

I’m still grateful for my past. Without it, I wouldn’t know how to liberate myself. That was Buddha’s intention. He wanted to liberate as many people as he could.

The illusion is that we suffer needlessly. Our life is short and we spend it suffering needlessly. Buddhism allows you to realize that you have a choice. That there is a way out of suffering.

I vow to help as many people as I can. My time is limited. But I want to spread awareness, hope and happiness to as many people as I can.

A year ago, I consulted a psychiatrist because I was severely depressed. At one point, I thought about ending my own life. Then of course, I was lucky enough to have discovered Buddhism.

Buddhism has taught me about impermanence. Meaning, even sadness is temporary. Moment to moment, our emotions change. And the key to lasting happiness is to know that there are times when we are up and there are times that we are down. The key then is to understand that when we have problems, it is only temporary. Sooner or later, as soon as we just concentrate on a solution and not lose hope, we will find a way out of our problems.

There is something called relative happiness which is based on the environment or on the realization of your wishes. And there is something called absolute happiness which comes from within. It is a state of happiness that is all encompassing. Whether you have problems or not, you can remain on top of things if you have an unwavering spirit of determination to overcome whatever life throws in your way. And being in this state takes practice, effort and wisdom.

Here are a few tips on how to fight off depression. These tips come from personal experience.

1. Get enough sleep- I used to sleep only three hours a day. And my sleep quality was really bad when I do get extended periods of sleep. Having enough sleep keeps your mind balanced and makes your body well rested.

IF you have problems sleeping, you can take a sleeping aid such as melatonin for a few weeks. Usually I just drink ten or twelve melatonin pills the same time everyday. You must take take it the same time in order to remind your body and your mind to sleep at that particular time. Sooner or later your body would find its regular sleep pattern again.

Also, taking a bath before you sleep relaxes the body. Make sure you massage your body for total relaxation.

Avoid watching television before you go to sleep. You can read but read light reading materials such as a magazine.

2. Eat well- A healthy body equals a healthy mind.

3. Have at least one spiritual practice- It’s important to have at least one spiritual practice to keep your mind centered and to tame your mind. When you are depressed, you tend to keep thinking about the same thing over and over again. It’s like the mind is stuck in that state. To elevate your mood and to keep the mind unstuck you have to either meditate, chant or do yoga.

What I do to keep my depression at bay is to chant. It helps to still my mind.

4. Socialize- I never liked people when I was depressed. I would isolate myself. But I realized that if you isolate yourself, you tend to put more firewood to the fire so to speak. When you are depressed, call a friend or go out to the mall. It would help you keep things in perspective. Know that you are never alone. Everyone has problems. No one in the world is spared of problems. But most of the people don’t waste their time in self-pity. They go on with their lives.

It also helps to talk to a friend about what is bothering you. But mostly, it would be best though to keep your mind off your depression by just having a nice chit-chat with a friend. Soon enough your mood will change.

5. Help people- When you help others,  you become less selfish. The thing is, depressed people tend to be self-indulgent. I used to be self-indulgent. I was afraid that I would lose my identity or individuality if I would stop to think about my life and my problems.

But when you see others who are less fortunate than you are, but who are coping with their problems just fine, you will realize how silly your sadness really is.

And true happiness is never selfish.

6. Travel- It keeps you from being trapped in your own mind .

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I used to be afraid of death. That was when I was still depressed. I was afraid of death because I was afraid of living. I didn’t live my life. I was among the walking dead. I was afraid of death because I was afraid that my life meant nothing. And I was afraid that death would just prove my existence meaningless.

Ironically, once I started to say yes to life, I started to be unafraid of death. I realized that death is part of life. I used to think that we live so that we die. But now I realized the opposite. We die so that we can live. There’s a huge difference.

Buddhists keep mentioning the word ‘impermanence.’ I admit that I never understood that before. I never understood why it mattered so much. But it does. Once you realize that the life that we have is impermanent, you start to realize that living is a privilege.

This life that we have is impermanent. We don’t go on forever in our present form. When we die, our bodies go back to the earth. What  matters is what we do in between our birth and our death.

Once we realize how fleeting our present existence is, we start to realize how precious each moment really is. We could die at any moment. Why do we choose to preoccupy ourselves with death when we can choose life? And why waste your existence suffering when you can choose to be happy?