A Blog A Day

It\’s a blog where I write about the extraordinary and the ordinary things going on in my life.

When Love Fades…..

I feel so sad for my cousin. She revealed to me recently that she’s not happy in her marriage anymore. All the while, I thought she had the happiest relationship. I would often go out with her and her husband during one of their dinner dates. They always looked so happy. They would laugh and smile often. I often envied their relationship. It came as a total shock to me to find out that they had marriage problems.

” We don’t have sex anymore. Not after we had our second baby,” V revealed.

I didn’t react. I couldn’t. I just listened to what she had to say.

” On the outside, we look happy but we’re not,” she added.

V told me about her feelings for her family. About how her husband seems like the perfect husband but still that isn’t enough for her.

” There’s something missing in my life. I want to get away from it all. I just want to find out what I really want.”

I couldn’t advise her. I don’t know how. But I sensed that somehow she doesn’t appreciate what she has. I would go with them during their family time. I would observe them closely. V has a nanny to take care of her kids. And I had a feeling that even though V loved her kids she somehow felt obligated to take care of them. There was a lack of passion on her part. It’s as if she having kids wasn’t really in her plan.

” I had the baby two months after we met each other. Everything happened so fast. I don’t know if I even love him anymore.”

I told her that she has to work on building a friendship with her husband. Friendship should be the basis of all relationships whether it be with your family or your lover. When you are friends with someone, you tend to look at them with an uncritical eye. You tend not to judge your friends. You tend to deal with them fairly and openly.

” I really don’t know what to say,” I told her.” I guess you have to work on being friends with your husband. I can’t tell you anything more because I don’t know how you really feel for him if you still love him or not.”

This  has made me realize that I should work on my friendship with Richard. We have a special friendship now and I want to develop that more and more. Friendship should be at the core of all relationships. Sometimes the feeling of love or attraction disappears. But true friendship never fades. Maybe I should concentrate on that more with Richard.

The romantic in me feels so sad for V. I always believed that love endures. But now, I’m not so sure. I’d still like to believe that. I just hope that after V spends time alone, she’ll come to realize how lucky she is to have someone to love.

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