A Blog A Day

It\’s a blog where I write about the extraordinary and the ordinary things going on in my life.

Reflection

I forgot that in my quest to find God within, I failed to find God outside myself. Buddhists believe that the environment and the self are one and the same. There is a connection between the external and the internal.

I realize just as the teacher is the external stimulus that initiates learning ( internal realization ) in a student, there can never be a teacher without a student. And there can never be a student without a teacher.

No matter how much the teacher tries to teach concepts to the student, if the student is not open to learning, no real learning can take place. Even if the teacher beats up the student, as long as the student resists , real learning can never take place. Similarly, without a student, the teacher will have no one to teach to.

I’m slowly starting to realize that in order to find God within, I must also try to look outside of myself and appreciate what life has to offer.

Appreciating what the world has to offer needs someone’s perception or viewpoint. To find goodness in the world, one must allow the goodness to manifest in the outside world. And for the goodness in the outside world to influence a person, that person must try to allow himself/herself to be influenced by it.

Can there be beauty in nature if there is no one to appreciate it? And isn’t beauty a concept created by the inner self? The external and the internal both need each other. That is the duality that we see in life.

I have forgotten to write down a gratitude journal. In my quest for inner peace, I forgot that inner peace can not be found by shunning the outside world. How can one find beauty within if there is no mirror ( the external/environment ) to reflect it?

If we do a good deed, how will we know it’s a good deed if we do not see its effect? How can I activate the happiness within myself if I don’t see my happiness manifest itself through action?

In my quest for inner happiness, there came a point when I started to forget the things that I used to love– reading, traveling, watching television, writing and listening to music. I was always praying and chanting. But soon enough, my prayers started to lose their power as I started to lose my passion for the externals.

I need to get back passion in my life. I need to start doing the things that I used to love doing.

There was a time when I tried to enjoy every moment and tried to appreciate every detail. I have lost touch with myself. And it’s ironic that I lose touch with myself when all I wanted in the first place was to find my true self.

I will start to write down things in my grateful journal. I’ll make it a daily or a weekly thing. It doesn’t really matter. All that matters is that I allow myself to enjoy life again and find the bliss in my daily existence.

Things that I’m grateful for ever since I became a Buddhist.

— Richard becomes my friend and confidant.

— Jilly Ann- a girl I met on an island. She was the most happy and the most intelligent little girl I ever met. We became fast friends.

— My friends both the old and the new.

— Times I spend by myself reading.

— Going to the gym.

— Having a sauna.

— Getting a massage.

— Listening to my friend’s concerns and problems.

— Chanting.

— Taking a bath.

— Shopping for new clothes and a new pair of earrings.

— Dressing up.

— Eating sushi.

— Discovering Buddhism, Echkart Tolle and all the other authors that I’ve discovered today.

— Music

— Dancing

— Singing

— Listening to my Ipod.

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