A Blog A Day

It\’s a blog where I write about the extraordinary and the ordinary things going on in my life.

Love Finds A Way

My most popular post in this site is my post titled, ” Letter to My Ex-Boyfriend.” I receive more than ten hits a day for that page. I guess heartbreak indeed is universal.  As much as I would want people to read my other posts, I can’t stop them from viewing that page. And perhaps by reading that page, they will read my other posts as well. So any attention to this blog is gladly welcomed.

I realize now the necessity of that heartbreak.  It took me years to overcome that heartbreak. But I know the reason for that pain. It prepared me for Richard. Because of the pain that I went through, I realized what love is not.

I may not know everything about love. But because of my heartbreak, I know what love is not.

If you ask me if I had loved my ex boyfriend, I’d give you two answers. I’d answer, ” Yes and No.” I did love him and yet I didn’t really love him. I loved him the way I knew how to love him. I was nineteen and I had no idea how to love.  I loved him the best way I knew how. But it was love that was not fully aware. It was love that was selfish. It was love that was cruel.

In a way, that love wasn’t true love. It was love but it was not real love. But that was love nonetheless.

I loved my exboyfriend, when I didn’t know much about love yet. I was not ready to love.  I was unprepared to love. But the pain of that relationship was necessary. It has prepared me to realize what love is.

I couldn’t accept that I had lost my first love. It was the most painful thing of all. I am still healing. Ten years and I am still healing. But love is indeed amazing. Just when you think that you can’t love another, love finds you.


1 Comment»

  smyta wrote @

i simply luv ur posts gur..rily..i duNnO y..but wen i read about all dis i get a sort of nostalagisa..i only knw dat luv suXs now..

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