A Blog A Day

It\’s a blog where I write about the extraordinary and the ordinary things going on in my life.

Learning to Forgive

My mother used to hit me when I was a little girl. She didn’t mean to do it. She was just frustrated with her life. I knew that she loved me. Until now, I know that she loves me. But when you’re unhappy with your life you tend to blame the ones you love.I remember that I would cry for hours after she hit me. Perhaps she felt a little guilty for what happened to me as a little girl. She must have been blamed by everyone. She was after all, responsible for my well-fare and she let me down.

My case is a little unusual. It’s not everyday that a four-year old girl becomes sexually active. But since my mother was always busy and since she put me under the trust of relatives, bad things happen.

It was my mother who discovered me with my cousin. What they don’t know is that it was more complicated than that. It was my uncle– who until now remains unpunished– who taught me and my cousin. For how would two kids know what to do with their bodies at such a young age?

Fate was cruel to me. Fate was cruel to my mother. My mother failed as a mother to protect me. And so it was, during my early childhood years, she would hit me. She loved me but she hit me. In a way, she was punishing herself. Every blow to my little body was a punishment to herself.

It’s funny how little children never forget but how unconditional their love is. I have forgiven my mother for the physical and emotional pain. I don’t hold any grudges against my mother. Adults should learn a thing or two about forgiveness from children.

I believe that in every one of us, there is a little child that is emotionally hurt and needy. I think it is time for that little child in me to heal. Two months from now, I will be turning thirty. It’s about time, I forgive and forget. The little girl inside of me needs to be free. And only love and forgiveness would set me free.

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