A Blog A Day

It\’s a blog where I write about the extraordinary and the ordinary things going on in my life.

To Love Again

I find it so hard to believe that I would fall in love again. I never expected that I’d love Richard more than I’d love my ex-boyfriend. I’ve loved my ex-boyfriend for ten years and here comes Richard. A year ago, he came barging into my life and soon enough, I forgot my ex-boyfriend.

I’ve loved my ex-boyfriend most of my adult life. I was 19-years old when I met my ex. I knew in my heart that he didn’t make me happy and he wasn’t the one, but when you love someone, you just stay with that person no matter what.

But when I met Richard, I realized how unhappy I was with my ex. It became painfully clear how different Richard is from my ex. And I had to learn to let go of my old love.

It’s a little scary for me to admit that I have only known Richard for a year, and yet I already love him. I have my doubts about Richard. And I sometimes can’t accept why I love him more than I love my ex-boyfriend.

Richard just makes me happy. And I can never explain why. When I met him, it was as if I found myself. He’s my mirror. And if I don’t doubt what special friendship I have with him, I am happy. Even if I have doubts about him, I am still happy.

My friends noticed that I was all beaming and happy at work. And I didn’t even notice it until they pointed it out. Before I went to work, I had a chat with Richard. Apparently that was enough for me to be happy and smiling.

Richard has that wonderful effect on me. And in a way, he has healed me. He just makes me so grateful to be alive. And I am so grateful that I have met him. I am grateful for the special friendship that we have. Although at times I find myself feeling confused, once the confusion fades, there is love.

I know that soon I have to tell Richard how much he means to me. And it’s so strange. I’m not even afraid of rejection. I just want him to know how much he has healed me. And I have a feeling that I have helped heal him too.

Last year, Richard looked depressed and unhappy. He was always wearing black and brown. He said that his favorite colors were dark colors. And yet I see him wearing bright colors now. And there’s a glow to his face that I haven’t noticed until recently. And I like it when he’s all smiles when we’re together. Could it be that he loves me too? Anything is possible. Perhaps all I have to do is ask.


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