A Blog A Day

It\’s a blog where I write about the extraordinary and the ordinary things going on in my life.

Dreaming Love

Love always creates fear because love is death, a greater death than the ordinary death you know of. In an ordinary death the body dies, but that is not death at all. Body is just like a dress: when it is tatty and old you change for a new one.
It is not death, it is just a change: a change of a dress, or a change of a house or abode. But you continue, the mind continues — just the same old mind in new bodies, just the same old wine in new bottles. The form changes but not the mind, the shape changes but not the mind.
So the ordinary death is not a real death; love is a real death: the body does not die but the mind dies, the body continues to be the same but the ego disappears.
If you love, you will have to drop all the conceptions that you have about yourself.
If you love, you CANNOT be the ego because the ego will not allow love.
They are antagonistic.
If you choose the ego you will not be able to choose love.
If you choose love you will have to drop the ego.
Hence, the fear….– OSHO on LOVE

So many times, we say ” I love you ” to someone and rarely mean it. Saying it becomes a mechanical act. We say it even though at times we don’t feel it. It becomes automatic.

My EX boyfriend would often say that he loved me. It’s not that he was lying but there would often be a hint of insincerity on his words. His actions were the exact opposite. He would tell me that he loved me and yet he would hurt me.

Love is meant to be shown and felt. Love is not mean to be said. To say ” I love you ” to someone reduces it somehow to just mere words.

My love for Richard is different. I haven’t told him that I love him. And I don’t think I can tell him that I love him. I can’t even write to him about how I feel. All I can do is to show him that I love him. All I can do is to make him feel that I love him. It is a scary thing. Undeclared love is a scary thing. But at the same time it feels right somehow not to tell him but to show him.

I don’t want to be attached to someone. I know that life is temporary. But when I’m with Richard, every second that I am with him, I’m reminded that I should love while I’m still alive. Whenever I’m with him, I’m reminded to stay in the present.

I know that one day I would perish. So that’s why everyday that I’m with him, I try to show him how much I love him. I realize that the right way to love is to love like there’s no tomorrow. For it is true in a way. There is no tomorrow.

The moment we were born, we have already died. I feel like I’m just remembering my existence. I feel as if I’m living a dream. I want to have a dream worth dreaming. I want to love.


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