A Blog A Day

It\’s a blog where I write about the extraordinary and the ordinary things going on in my life.

Living By The Four Agreements

I know I’m depressed but unlike the bouts of depression that I had before, I seem to be doing okay. My work life is fantastic. I love work. My family life is okay. I seem to get along with my sister now. We used to argue a lot. But since I’ve read Don Miguel Ruiz’s book titled, ” Voice of Knowledge,” I am more aware of people’s viewpoints.

Ruiz’s book is a real eye-opener. It made me understand the more harder Buddhist topics. Everything really is perception. I remember my cousin used to say that to me. But I could never really grasp it. But now, I understand it fully.

My favorite book of Ruiz has got to be the Four Agreements. It reminds me of Buddha’s 8 Noble Truths. Of course Ruiz has made it a lot simpler. He just wrote Four Agreements that we should all follow. It does make a lot of sense. From now on, I’ll try to live by the Four Agreements which are:

1. Be impeccable with your word.

2. Don’t take things personally.

3. Don’t make assumptions.

4. Always do your best.

These Four Agreements are really very simple and if we live by them everyday of our lives, we’d be happier.

The first agreement is the most important one though I admit that sometimes I say things that I don’t mean. And sometimes I use the power of the word against myself.

Through the practice of chanting, I may have reduced my self-limiting beliefs but I believe that I’m blind to some of them. But through chanting, meditation, self-reflection, reading and interacting with people, I know I’ll finally find a way to be aware of all of them. And with awareness comes liberation.

I believe that there will come a time when I would truly liberate myself. Christians call that state Heaven. Buddhists call it Nirvana. Whatever the labels, they’re talking of the same thing. I know that there will come a point when I won’t be burdened by my limiting self-beliefs.

The second agreement is a lot easier. Once you understand that people have their own perceptions, it would be easy to not take things personally. But it still is hard. It takes patience when someone pushes your buttons. Our natural reaction would be to blame the other person for pushing those buttons. But when you really pause to think about it, when you react to something, it’s your issue and not the other person’s issue. The other person has just provided the stimulus but how you respond to that stimulus is all you.

The third agreement is perhaps the second hardest to follow. I admit that I make assumptions right away. My cousin used to say that one should always ask. And she is really right. We can’t mentally torture ourselves by making assumptions of what the other person is thinking. We can’t read their minds. The easiest thing to do would be to ask. It really is just that easy.

The fourth one is my favorite. I totally agree that at all times one should always do his/her best no matter what. The joy should be in the doing and not the result. Most of the time, people concentrate on the results. But it is not the destination that matters but how you get there that truly matters. Everything requires effort. But the more effort you put into something, the better satisfaction you get.

I don’t know if Richard is reading ” The Four Agreements.” I let him borrow it for a reason. But sadly, since we had our fight, I don’t know if he had read it or not. It would be best if I could explain the book to him so he would understand. But he has  funny way of looking at things. And I doubt that it wasn’t just his personality that had flaws but his way of thinking as well. There was something seriously wrong with the way he put two and two together. But I still adored that in him.

He is part of the reason why I’m depressed. And I’ve been depressed for four weeks now. I just find it so hard that we haven’t spoken in over three weeks and I haven’t heard anything from him. I really don’t know what’s going to happen. I don’t even know if I cared for him or not. I don’t even know if I want to apologize to him or if there is something to apologize for.

I know in time, I’ll find a way to really live by the Four Agreements. And I know in time, the rift between me and Richard would be mended.


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