A Blog A Day

It\’s a blog where I write about the extraordinary and the ordinary things going on in my life.

Return To Self

I am reading up on Vedanta, Tibetan Buddhism and psychology. I don’t really recommend mixing things up, but sometimes I get restless and just pick any book up randomly. I have lots of books that I haven’t finished reading yet but some books have managed to keep me engaged long enough for me to finish it.

I’m now ruminating on the idea of false self and true self. Vedanta is a philosophy that claims that there is only one true self and that is the self that observes everything. The self that we claim to be our true selves is actually just an illusion.

It’s rather hard to digest at this point but I have some idea of it because I read Miguel Ruiz’s book titled, ” The Voice of Knowledge. Ruiz wrote about perception. Everything is perception. And if one person perceives one thing and another perceives another thing, what is true to one is not true for the other. Ruiz calls this individual reality as the ‘dream.’ Buddhists and Hindus call it ‘mara.’

I’m starting to become aware of this ‘witness’ or ‘observer’ part of me. And sometimes, I can detach myself from my current situation and try to look at things objectively. The fact that I can detach myself from my situation means that in a way, we humans have this dualistic nature– the observer and the observed.

I’m still trying to reflect on this. I don’t want to force myself yet. Everything has just happened too fast. I only started chanting about a year ago and now there are so many things that I had to unlearn and many new things I had to learn. And I always try to keep in mind what T.S. Eliot wrote. He wrote :

And the end of all our searching shall be to return to the place where we started and know it for the first time.

Maybe in all my endless wanderings, I will find myself back where I started. And as T.S. Eliot has written, I will find what I’ve been looking for.

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