A Blog A Day

It\’s a blog where I write about the extraordinary and the ordinary things going on in my life.

Closure on Not Finding Closure

My colleague at the office teased me about my friend P. P is just a friend that I know in my heart won’t be anything other than a friend. We get along but we don’t have chemistry. I find him attractive in a way but I’m not physically attracted to him. So, I know I’m safe with him. And I find that I’m not really jealous when he has crushes on other girls. So, it’s safe to assume that we will always be friends or we won’t cross the line.

The thing is, with Richard, we did cross the line when we shouldn’t have. And as a result, our friendship ended. And I feel so sad because we really did have great chemistry. But P told me in a way that it is time for me to move on.

He said, ” You’re still harboring hope that you and him would get back together. ”

” I guess you’re right. In a way, I’m still hoping that we’d be okay.”

” The thing is, you never had any closure. And maybe you have to accept that fact that there is never going to be closure. The same way with me and my ex-girlfriend. When we see each other we’re friends.”

” So meaning to say, I should find closure in the fact that there’s no closure? And accept the fact that I can’t accept?” I answered my own question.

The thing is, me and Richard never was. We were friends and yet there was something there. And it’s so painful for me to hold on to the what-ifs and the possibilities. And I think P is right. I should just move on. And my closure should be that I don’t have closure.

Painful as it might be to accept that I have to let Richard go, I know it’s something I have to do to end my relationship karma. I find that I’m at peace with that. And I have to accept that there are things that just don’t end like it should end. And I should just learn to accept that.

The thing is, if Richard and I are meant to be together, then the universe would just find a way to bring us together. And the fact that we’re now apart means that we’re not meant to be together. In relationships, there’s nothing you can really do to make things work if it just won’t work. Or if the other person or both of you don’t cooperate. So, what is Richard in my life? Richard is just a guy, I’m meant to let go.

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