A Blog A Day

It\’s a blog where I write about the extraordinary and the ordinary things going on in my life.

Mental Noise

I’ve come to a point where I don’t trust my thoughts and emotions anymore. And I’m feeling lost because I know that I am not my thoughts. And I know that my emotions are the product of my thoughts. I’m confused and I’m no longer anchored in anything. I am not scared. I just don’t know where to go.

The awareness within me has grown to a point where I know that there’s a growing division inside of me. There’s my conditioned self ( the me I’ve come to know through the years ) and my unconditioned self ( which I know is there but can’t seem to find it yet ).

There were moments  when I lived in the moment. Somehow, I lost that magical state. Maybe I’m trying too hard. That happy state is inside of me.  But somehow, it’s lost in the static and I have to find that state again.

That’s what I think of my thoughts now. I think of them as mental noise. I know it’s the product of the mind. And I understand that it can easily overwhelm the person and paralyze the person. So there are thoughts floating in my head. And when I’m exhausted, I allow myself to be taken by it. Then I remind myself again.

I’ll find peace again. And I’ll find that state of calm. But I know I have to go deeper for the answers. I have to find a way to get past that mental noise.

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