A Blog A Day

It\’s a blog where I write about the extraordinary and the ordinary things going on in my life.

Happiness For All

I was getting dissatisfied with work. I’ve been finding the working environment getting toxic. I mentioned this to my workmate Marge. She disagreed with me.

” If you find something negative about work, then you’ll always find it. As for me, I’m grateful that I have this job. I actually don’t shy away from work. Work is work. And I don’t find myself dissatisfied with it. I just do my job. I’m actually good under pressure,” she said.

I was actually surprised by her answer. It was something that would come from a Buddhist. But she told me that she’s into Taoism.

We talked for what seemed like hours. Marge talks so fast that we covered her previous work, her love life to her current problem.

” I’m actually manic depressive. I even had a breakdown in the office. Our boss saw me crying one time and he gave me time off.”

” Really? I didn’t know that.”

She talked so fast and she covered so many things. But I somehow managed to ask her questions. I found out that we had a karmic connection. She actually knows my ex-boyfriend.

” He’s actually like my big brother. He’s so good to me. He’s nice. Except sometimes, he gets these weird ideas. I mean they’re just out of this world,” she mentioned.

” Yes, because he’s a drug addict,” I said.

” We actually know. We tried to discourage him from taking drugs. Do you know where he got his nick name?”

” I don’t know. Where?” I asked.

” Well, we call him by his nickname because he drools when he sleeps.”

Marge mentioned so many things. She mentioned that she has a third eye. She told me about her daughter’s name. She even showed me a picture. She then told me about her boyfriend and her ex-boyfriend. She told me that she has five names.

While she was talking, I felt so sad for her. Not long ago, I used to be like her. I would get carried away by my thoughts. I would have a dozen thoughts per minute. But now, unusually enough, since I became a Buddhist, I rarely have thoughts. I still think but my thoughts appear at a much more manageable level. I can concentrate better. And I actually have a low threshold for negativity and sadness now. I don’t want to be unhappy unlike before where I would wallow in unhappiness for weeks or months at a time.

I told Marge about Buddhism. Coincidence or not, she told me that she did read my prayer booklet. I left it in the office so I could pray while encoding data in my computer.

” Yeah, I know that you’re a Buddhist. I saw your prayer book. I actually tried to read the passages but it’s hard.”

” That prayer will save your life.”

I told Marge about my clinical depression and how I would disappear for weeks.

” I’d just hide in the room and sleep all day. There are days when I would stuff myself and days that I would starve myself. And there are days when I won’t even like to take a bath,” I told her.

” Yeah. I experience that as well. In fact with me, since I’m manic depressive, there are days when I’m really upbeat. And there would be days when I could barely talk.

Marge told me about her ex-boyfriend who still stalks her. And she said that she carries a gun. I got scared a bit. I just wanted to gauge if I could introduce her to Buddhism. But somehow, I felt it in my heart that she needs it.

” You know what? I rarely talk to people. The reason why I like to talk to you is because you’re unlike everyone else here. You look calm despite the chaos in the office.” Marge seemed sincere about it.

I smiled and asked her what makes me different. She said something about me having good energy or positive energy.

A year ago, before I became a Buddhist, I never thought that it would be possible for me to ever be happy. I actually went to see a psychiatrist so I could have a cure to my depression. My doctor recommended that I try taking anti-depressant. But I remember being sad about the prospect of taking pills in order to be happy. I knew deep inside that it was not the answer. Luckily enough, I tried Buddhism. And ever since then, my life hasn’t been the same.

I still get problems but I feel bigger than my problems. I still get sad days, but I actually am aware that I’m having sad days and therefore, I can do something about it. Buddhism has taught me how to deal with life.

I feel so sad for Marge. She mentioned that she took Valium and Prozac. She even sees a psychotherapist. I know in my heart that she needs Buddhism more than anything. No one should have to live a life of unhappiness and sadness. No one.

I’m renewing my vow to spread Buddhism to people that I meet especially the ones with so much negativity and sadness in their lives. Happiness should be available to everyone. And that is what Buddhism teaches. It teaches one to be happy in this lifetime.

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