A Blog A Day

It\’s a blog where I write about the extraordinary and the ordinary things going on in my life.

The Dive

My mother is in a lot of debt. She has a dozen lawsuits. She is unhappy with her family, with her marriage and with her finances. She believes that no one understands her predicament. She believes that no one cares for her. The thing is, what is happening to her is of her own doing. Introspection is key. And she has never been an introspective person. She always blames others for her failures. She plays the victim always.

My sister says that I don’t care about my mother. My sister has been doing everything within her power to help my mother get out of her financial mess.
She admonished me and asked me what I was doing to help. I couldn’t answer because I do not know where to begin.

” If you see someone trying to dive into the cliff, do you think that just telling that person not to jump would prevent that person from jumping?” My sister wanted me to understand the gravity of the situation.

” It’s not enough, of course, ” I answered.

” Then, you know what you must do. You have to physically put that person out of harm’s way,” she said.

I can understand my sister’s concern. But are we really helping someone if we help them that way? The thing is, if a person is self-destructive, there is no way you can keep watch on that person. A person who is self-destructive would always find a way to create chaos. I know that my sister’s solution is only temporary. How can I help my mother help herself?

I was feeling terrible a few weeks ago, when a person who owed me money approached me again. I had previously forgiven her of her debt. She obviously forgot about the favor I did for her and she ran to me for help again. This time I declined. I learned a lesson from that incident. I realized that I was not really helping people at all. I was only providing a temporary solution. The question that I must meditate on is this, ” How can I help people in a way that they too would help themselves?”

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